(Pious Church man talking)

Verse 1:
Brothers and sisters, God needs a new house.
The building we're in now can only hold 2000,
And though its rarely full, it's just not as cool,
As the church down the street, it has a swimming pool.
Yes, Christians in China are being executed,
And hospitals in Uganda are underfunded,
Yes, we could send missionaries to the Middle East,
But we need money for a new church building.

Verse 2:
Yes, we know there are millions of starving,
And it's too bad our young people are backsliding,
There are billions who haven't heard the Gospel,
And our country's morals became cookie crumble,
Our pastor, Mr. Sam, drives a new shiny Benz,
But he doesn’t look at the homeless people’s tents,
And our kids fornicate and they’re playing violent games,
But we need money for a new church building.

Chorus:
Glory to the buildings,
Glory to the Choir,
Glory to our programs,
Glory to the offerings.

Verse 3:
Today's sermon is how to be a good Christian,
If you can make it, come to church on Friday too.
Give out at least one tract a week,
And grandmothers, volunteer for local charities,
If you have some extra time to waste.
Read a chapter a day to keep the devil away,
After those things, there ain't much else to say,
But give a lot of money for our new church building!

Verse 4:
Half the congregation is grossly overweight,
It's okay to have three times a normal person’s plate,
The mother down the street cannot feed her four children.
"God help that woman, but I'm off to the gym."
The church down the street has a homosexual priest,
And we're also going to start allowing gay weddings.
And yes, brother Joe has problems with wife beating,
But he gives money for our new church building.

Repeat chorus

Verse 5:
Yes, we are good Christians and we live our lives for Christ,
If you ask what that entails, on Sunday dress up nice.
You don’t have to really make any sacrifice,
Just go to confession every month, once or twice.
Some people say our church is dead spiritually,
Or that we've been deceived, ha! They must be crazy.
We've heard people say our religion is decaying,
But we gave money to our new church building!