(Chorus)
In the land of the apeman tale
the little ant is the brother of the whale
The kangaroo is the sister of the snail
because they all evolved from a single cell
In the land of the apeman tale
they all "know" that there is no hell
They've evolved, but they sure can't spell
They've come a long, long way from the Land of Angels
to the day they fell

In the land of the apeman tale (x2)

Once upon a time here on planet earth
some water fell on the land and it soon gave birth
to the first little cell, sprouted some legs & hands
& soon he first little froggie crawled out on the land
But then he crawled right back, became a little fish,
found himself a wife & said, "Ich liebe dich"

They grew and grew till the day they crawled out again
and the four-legged whales roamed about the land
But soon got tired of that, since they had no beer
Kissed the land goodbye, said, "Let's get otta here!
Let's cut this walking crap, I wanna float and swim,
become a dinosaur & then a man named Jim!"

("Is that really how it happened, Daddy?"
- "You better believe it, Sonny!")

(Chorus 2x)